Thursday, August 31, 2006

Mom's Love...



Mom...god's greatest gift in life for any individual on this earth...It is intense in my case since Iam the only child to her..she combines all her love and affection and pours everything to me which has to be shared by my siblings...unfortunately I dont have any...I could recollect my childhood days when I used to wait for her in the evening,sitting anxiously on the balcony...staring at the roads...waiting for her to return from office...atlast brings me a piece of chocolate and gives it to me..I could still remember how she dresses me and takes me to school...It was always difficult in her case to grow me up when compared to others since she is a working women and she didnt have the support of any of my relatives or grandparents...

How can I forget the days when she prepares me a hot spicy biriyani,idly,dosai,vadai hehe....How can I forget the days when I used to play with her hair even when I was in college...How can I forget the days when she gets up before me at 3'o clock and prepare me a hot cup of tea during examinations...How can I forget the days when I used to fight with her during cricket matches..not letting her to watch megaserials...:)How can I forget the days when I used to go to marketplace with her (not with the intention of helping her but to sight the girls on the supermarket...hehe)How can I forget the days of her standing in the gate and waving hands to me when I leave the house and when I start my bike...How can I forget the days when I used to go to the kitchen in a hurry and take the half cooked dosa and disturb her like anything by mixing some masalas when she is cooking... All these incidents reside in my eyes....

But Iam in this shit part of the world,leaving all my happiness and moments which I had with her..My mom always has a sad feeling that I should have been a doctor..not just because I couldnt get medicine seat but since I left the Medicine seat which I obtained...I could still remember her saying when I got my first month salary from HCL CISCO and when I got blessing from her..she said "I should have been a doctor" and she carries pride in saying that Iam doctor's mother"...not my son works for ABCD software company earning huge clean white currency notes..." It really irked me a lot...It was always ringing in my mind...that she wasnt satisfied with my 20k and the medicine seat is still ringing on her mind...

I was always thinking how can I make her happy...Atlast god showed me a way of studying in abroad with Master of Science and recently Master of Business Administration in Germany...Ok....My MS may not have the ranks of stanfords or MITs or Oxfords or Cambridges or my MBA may not be equivalent to Havards or IIMs...nevertheless this MS and MBA makes my mother say recently in phone..."Sathish....Iam a proud mother walking in the streets that my son is studying in abroad doing MS and MBA"...neither I was born with a silver spoon to be sponsored by my parents to study in US,UK,Canada,Australia...nor I was great great brilliant chap to obtain a seat in Stanford or MIT or Havard....With my limited resources and god's grace I could study in atleast arguably one of the best Technical Universities in Germany without financially burdening my parents...According to me...this MS and MBA is just a piece of paper stating Iam qualified for MS and MBA but this paper wipes out my mom's tears and feelings of me not being a doctor....

I miss you amma...
Sathish Kumar S

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Exam Stress...


One experiences various stress in different dimensions,in different orthognality and in different modes....Last week I had an exam stress (three exams in a week...)especially with back-back exams nextday...Its been longtime since I studied vigorously after my school days,neither my bachelors demanded me to work hard...nor iam interested....:)...I never expected Masters in Germany to screw my ass, but its certainly doing it with nearly 10 exams per semester...Thank god...Its over....But I feel Exam Stress is an irritating,inconvenient stress....but what to do....Poor guy...:(((

Sathish Kumar....